I’m just so sad and numb right now. I can’t even smile or cry or hurt myself or eat or anything. Auditions sucked, and singing is the only thing I’m good at, not that I’m good at it anyways. I could have done so much better but now I don’t have the slightest chance of getting in. I’m just a fat, selfish, spoiled, stupid, mediocre waste of space. Nobody understands me, and if they do i am just great at fucking up relationships so i’m alone again not long after.

I don’t even know who I am anymore. I want to escape, or cry, or something that would make me feel better. And no, brain, suicidal thoughts don’t really help.

I’m at it again, hiding tears and shame from my family. All I’m good at is eating and hiding and holding everything inside. Every day it feels like something is sitting on me and squeezing my heart. I can’t focus, stay energetic, or be worth a fuck. I’m wasting my life. I don’t deserve to eat.

Reward for not binging 5 days straight - Tumblr and an allowed mental breakdown.

Mom, it’s not a 6-pack, it’s a square of fat. It’s not a thigh gap, they touch.

I know I’m not as skinny as i was when i was 118 last summer, but that was technically underweight, do you want me to be underweight again?

It’s so hard to ignore all of the things you say about my weight, you’re really the only one that notices, except me, now, thanks to you. And the worst part is that you don’t even know what you’re doing wrong, but you wouldn’t believe me if i told you.

Now that I obsess about it I’m bulimic.

I actually don’t hate the idea of going to go back to school because I was getting kind of bored…

Plus I would just hang out in the kitchen and eat things, which wasn’t really all that great for the ego.

But still… i don’t want to go to school